What to Wear - A Wearing Prospect.

If political correctness matters in these matters, I might say that I am sartorially challenged. If you want it straight up, I'm a frump. I wear pants( with Lycra) a size too big because they are comfortable, my sweaters are all from the twentieth century, mostly cotton knit crew necks in plain colours. I start off wearing them to go somewhere and as time goes on they get demoted to housework sweaters and then to working in the bush sweaters. Sometimes I get them mixed up. My shoes are, um, sensible and they all need cleaning. Add white cotton undies and short, straight hair that gets attention once a day. Add glasses. Add wrinkles. Add a lot of wrinkles. However, I should confess that I have always dressed like this from my teens on up.

Every once in a while the YD tries to smarten me up with a handsome Christmas gift sweater that fits and has no pulls or bleach marks. And while she is living in the States, when I visit her I have access to the Coldwater Creek store where I can find clothing in my size that I actually like and look okay in. Sadly, the brand can be accessed in Canada only by catalogue and if I don't try something on before I buy it, the result is not good.

A few years ago my husband sent both daughters out to buy me a smart black suit. Since he did not like what they chose, I took it back to (wait for it) Holt Renfrew and changed it for what I thought he would like. Unfortunately this took place during the post Christmas Great Return and I had to settle for trousers and a jacket that, while both black, do not quite match. I wear this suit a lot and each time the mismatch annoys me. However, the husband likes it.

When the YD changes locations she winnows down her wardrobe a lot and I get some of the rejects, which are all beautiful garments, quite formal, that I wear when I am being Chair Of The Board, things like a pale pink wool jacket and a silk pant suit. The Elder Daughter has given up and gives me pajamas. I like pajamas. I like cotton knit, smooth or fuzzy, in pretty colours with flowers -- the kind of fabric that I think I would look silly wearing in daylight. My night time attire is actually pretty snappy.

A few years ago I bought a very smart summer suit - slim black pants and a black and white flowered jacket. With Lycra, of course. This outfit has been to every wedding, dinner, shower and event the family has held in summer for several years. Even I cannot justify another summer in it. And I have another great niece getting married in August. I needed something to wear to her wedding. The prospect did not enchant.

Earlier today I went into a local store and tried on (shudder) a dress. The last time I wore a dress was to my father's funeral in 1997. The size I thought I would take would not zip up. The hem length looked weird to me. I bethought me of the trauma of buying and wearing sheer tights. I headed off to the separates rack. And there I found a lovely chiffon top in black and white that fits and looks fairly decent on me. I quickly bought it. It has ruffles, which will annoy JG no end, but they are very small ruffles. I tried to find a pair of white trousers to go with this but the plain flowing ones that suited the top were only available in cream and looked terrible. I am going to have to go to the city and spend an afternoon in a shopping mall going through all the white pants until I find a pair that 1.) fit and 2.) complement the top.

To say that I am not looking forward to this is a tiny bit of an understatement. I wonder if my white jeans would do. Hmm. No, probably not, eh? Why couldn't the girl just elope, for goodness sake. And I have to buy a wedding present as well. There is no politically correct way to express what I am feeling.