Sunday, 2 December 2007

Monday Mission- School Note

It is one long long time since I have been in highschool. However, since then I have had a lot of experience with public school notes. Like this:

September 10th
Dear Mrs Smith,
Suzy is having a great deal of trouble getting her shoes on and off. Nor can she button her sweater. I would appreciate it if you would give her some instruction to remedy these matters as with twenty two children to manage, I cannot be responsible for dressing the children.
Sincerely
Miss Pedagogue, Suzy's Kindergarten Teacher

September 11th
Dear Miss Pedagogue,
I have laced Suzy's shoes with elastic.
Sincerely,
Mary Smith, Suzy's mother.

October 1st
Dear Mrs Smith
We are finding that Suzy does not do well with the quiet time we give our students in mid afternoon. She will not lie quietly on her towel and does not seem to need the rest. We are therefore proposing to send her to the French class in the Kindergarten Primary room for those twenty minutes. I hope this meets with your approval.
Sincerely,
Miss Pedagogue

Oct 2nd.
Dear Miss Pedagogue
This is fine with both Suzy's father and me. Suzy has not needed a nap for several years and has never shown signs that she should have one.
Sincerely,
Mary Smith

Oct 21
Dear Mrs Smith
Could you please purchase a pair of plastic scissors for Suzy. We cannot trust her with the metal blunt ended ones that are all we have available. I am sorry about her braid.
Sincerely
Miss P Pedagogue.

Nov 3rd
Dear Miss Pedagogue
Would it be possible for me to have a schedule of when the children will be using poster paint so that I can send Suzy to school on those days dressed in her older clothes.
Thank You,
Mary Smith

Nov 15th
Dear Mrs Smith
Could you please speak to Suzy about rocking her chair when we are sitting at our desks? I do not seem to be having any effect on preventing this behaviour.
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
Miss Pedagogue

November 30
Dear Mrs Smith
We sincerely regret that Suzy should have become stuck in the snow bank at the back of the parking lot. We try to have the playground clear and to make sure all of our students stay away from the deeper snow but we obviously lost track of Suzy sometime during recess. We will try to ensure that this does not happen again.
Sincerely
Joseph Stuckley
Principal, Maple Lane School


Dec 1st
Dear Mr Stuckley
Do not worry about the snowbank incident. The highschool boys who pulled her out were very kind and I am sure that her boots will reappear this spring when the snow melts. I would like to take this opportunity to tell you how much Suzy is enjoying school.
Sincerely
Mary Smith


Memo
Time: Friday, Dec 13
To: Personnel, Teaching
From: J. Stuckley, Principal Maple Lane School
Re: Winter term replacement Junior Kindergarten Teacher
__________________________________________________
Patty P is hors de combat and is going to Florida to 'rest her nerves'. She refuses to come back to work.
For the love of Pete, send me a replacement who is young, agile and possessed of a strong nervous system.

Joe


Dec 15th
Dear Parents,
It is with great regret that we send you the news that our beloved Miss Pedagogue has decided to take an early retirement and will not be back after the Christmas Holiday. She has been finding it harder and harder to cope and while we will miss her, I am sure you will all join me in wishing her a swift recovery.
Sincerely
Joseph StuckleyPrincipal, Maple Lane School

6 comments:

  1. Hilarious! This was a clever take on the MM assigment. I very much enjoyed the escalating notes.

    ("I'm sorry about her braid." Hee, hee.)

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  2. I loved this! And look, twisting the rules is ENCOURAGED (particularly in the area of SCHOOL notes! hee hee). The idea is to use the Missions as a jumping off point... and if you jump in a slightly different direction, all the better.

    Bravo!

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  3. This was great, Mary. Poor Miss P and all the others like her. I think I might've fallen for Suzy, though.

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  4. You know, the awful part of it is that all the incidents were real -- (with the possible exception of the memo).

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  5. this was wonderful, in its terrible truth (on both sides). i hope Miss P enjoyed her retreat to sunnier more child-free climes, and sweet Suzy's boots reappeared in spring as hoped.

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  6. You've got to love a woman who uses "Miss Pedagogue" as a teacher's name.

    I'm a new vister, but I'll be back!

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