Hello, I'd like to speak to your City section editor. He's in a meeting? Fine, give me his voice mail if you would, please.
Mr. Jones, my name is Mary G and I am one of your subscription readers. I'm calling to complain about the quality of the writing in your paper. Specifically I would like to complain about the use of 'meet up with', when 'meet' would do, the inability of your writers to distinguish between 'lie' and 'lay', the misuse of commas to separate a noun in apposition, and the erroneous use of 'it's' instead of 'its' for the possessive. I know that you get the youngest, beginning writers and that you are pushed for time to correct them, but if I see much more of this nonsense, I will cancel my subscription. I also know you know what I am talking about. Remember your Grade 10 grammar class? If you don't, I do. And I've still got the text book, if you want to borrow it.