Saturday, 21 April 2007

Sod's Law Revisited

There's a pair of very annoyed robins in the yard this afternoon. We woke up this morning to find them bringing grass and twigs in to start a nest on top of the light outside the bedroom door. They do this most years, and the only cure I have found is to tie a bunched sheet of tinfoil to the top of the light. One year I tried the flashing plastic strips that are recommended. Unfortunately they melt.

I have just been out helping JG slide some sheets of plywood down out of the rafters in the barn. He was up the ladder and I was receiving the tipped sheets as he slid them to me. I ended up with a mouthful of mouse droppings from a nest they had made between two sheets separated by 2x4s. Sigh. You would think at my age I would have learned to close my mouth.

This got me to thinking about what other words of wisdom I have accreted in sixty five years of being on the receiving end, secrets of successful living that I could pass along. So -- Mad Mary McGarrigle's Maxims follow.

!.) When catching things from above you, keep your mouth shut.

2.) Nothing cures a toothache faster than making an appointment with the dentist.

3.) When travelling with small children and/or dogs, always take a barf kit.

4.) Sand on beaches will always migrate into every orifice you own, including your new camera lens.

5.) If you have a really good book, you will also have visitors. Ditto if you run out of coffee or tea, or are half-way through painting something with oil base enamel.

6.) If your child is reversal dyslectic, she will read 'dog' for 'God' at the most inopportune time you can imagine.

I just had to go and pick more mouse droppings out of my bra. So I will post these and hope that you will add your own hard-earned warnings to the list.


  1. Oh, I know #4 well. You may have noticed the black splotch on most of my photos b/c the shutter no longer opens or closes completely.

    Here's one: "If you have a morning meeting, your toddler is sure to have a polar meltdown as you are leaving the house for work."

  2. Ooh, I'm not feeling very reflective this morning, but I'll think on it and if I've got one, I'll get back to you.

    But as a child whose penchant for barfing on EVERY SINGLE VACATION is now family mythology, I will concur with number 3.