Sod's Law Revisited

There's a pair of very annoyed robins in the yard this afternoon. We woke up this morning to find them bringing grass and twigs in to start a nest on top of the light outside the bedroom door. They do this most years, and the only cure I have found is to tie a bunched sheet of tinfoil to the top of the light. One year I tried the flashing plastic strips that are recommended. Unfortunately they melt.

I have just been out helping JG slide some sheets of plywood down out of the rafters in the barn. He was up the ladder and I was receiving the tipped sheets as he slid them to me. I ended up with a mouthful of mouse droppings from a nest they had made between two sheets separated by 2x4s. Sigh. You would think at my age I would have learned to close my mouth.

This got me to thinking about what other words of wisdom I have accreted in sixty five years of being on the receiving end, secrets of successful living that I could pass along. So -- Mad Mary McGarrigle's Maxims follow.

!.) When catching things from above you, keep your mouth shut.

2.) Nothing cures a toothache faster than making an appointment with the dentist.

3.) When travelling with small children and/or dogs, always take a barf kit.

4.) Sand on beaches will always migrate into every orifice you own, including your new camera lens.

5.) If you have a really good book, you will also have visitors. Ditto if you run out of coffee or tea, or are half-way through painting something with oil base enamel.

6.) If your child is reversal dyslectic, she will read 'dog' for 'God' at the most inopportune time you can imagine.

I just had to go and pick more mouse droppings out of my bra. So I will post these and hope that you will add your own hard-earned warnings to the list.